02 August 2011 - Flashbacks
have you ever looked back at your life? through the several years that had passed, is there something that occurred to you that left an impact on you such that you will never forget a certain incident?
I did, and until now I do not know whether it's a moment worth remembering. it was a dream, or rather a flashback, that kind of replayed certain events in my past. it was vague, but up until now I could remember what really happened as I had written the events that happened in my previous blog.
I choose to keep whatever happened silent here now and then, it's not meant for any readers to know it anyway. all I can say is that the flashback made me realize, I was never someone lucky, and I had immense hatred for the people who messed up my life, including myself.
I shouldn't be harping on it anyway, because it is already so long ago. the hatred was long gone, much as I tried to rebuild what was ruined after a few years later, I still failed terribly. it was then I realized another thing. I hardly put myself into the shoes of others.
I would ask myself whether I'm a selfish person. I have no answer honestly, only those around me would know. I have never asked my friends this, but sometimes I do feel I am very selfish, not sparing a thought for others.
enough of this ranting that you guys wouldn't know anything about. you would probably find me crazy if I go on writing it.
I did, and until now I do not know whether it's a moment worth remembering. it was a dream, or rather a flashback, that kind of replayed certain events in my past. it was vague, but up until now I could remember what really happened as I had written the events that happened in my previous blog.
I choose to keep whatever happened silent here now and then, it's not meant for any readers to know it anyway. all I can say is that the flashback made me realize, I was never someone lucky, and I had immense hatred for the people who messed up my life, including myself.
I shouldn't be harping on it anyway, because it is already so long ago. the hatred was long gone, much as I tried to rebuild what was ruined after a few years later, I still failed terribly. it was then I realized another thing. I hardly put myself into the shoes of others.
I would ask myself whether I'm a selfish person. I have no answer honestly, only those around me would know. I have never asked my friends this, but sometimes I do feel I am very selfish, not sparing a thought for others.
enough of this ranting that you guys wouldn't know anything about. you would probably find me crazy if I go on writing it.
Written on 8:55 PM
17 May 2011 - Mess
my mind is in a mess. everytime when I just wake up, it feels so suffocating. argh...
Written on 11:13 AM
15 May 2011 - Numbers
A single 3
A pair of 7
A single 10
A single 11
A single 12
it's 50 altogether. every number here has their own meaning.
go and guess what they are.
A pair of 7
A single 10
A single 11
A single 12
it's 50 altogether. every number here has their own meaning.
go and guess what they are.
Written on 5:19 PM
15 May 2011 - Bed
sometimes, I just feel like lying on the bed...all the way. I don't feel like getting up to do anything, I just wanna close my eyes, dream, not wanting to wake up..
because it hurts, but I know I have to accept it..
because it hurts, but I know I have to accept it..
Labels: In a Daze
Written on 8:32 AM
19 February 2011 - That Missing Piece
in my current life now, my needs are simple. I've got most of the things I wanted...a good keyboard, a good mouse...better relationship with family members, great friends and buddies, secured my promotion for my NS when I pass out from the academy..despite all these, I'm still unsatisfied with my life.
I should be happy that I've got almost everything I asked for, except one thing which I've been trying to get. but no...I failed miserably as always, and probably thats why my puzzle is never complete..
I should be happy that I've got almost everything I asked for, except one thing which I've been trying to get. but no...I failed miserably as always, and probably thats why my puzzle is never complete..
Labels: Growing Up (NS), In a Daze, Thoughts
Written on 1:01 AM
13 December 2010 - 主动
有时候，我不知道什么是对，什么是错。
有一段时间，大家都能一起哈哈大笑，一起出来吃喝玩乐。
过了一段时期，个忙个的，有空的时间也越来越少，见面的机会也越来越少了，联络的时间也越来越少。
如果没有人愿意主动约大家出来，是不是每个人都会散吗？如果是的话，其实那只是自己的想法。其他人怎么想呢？我们到底有没有互相想大家，只有我们自己知道。。
虽然大家都个忙个的，但是脑海里在想什么，没有人知道，理由在于没有坦白, 没有人愿意主动。。就算多么地在乎，也没有人知道。
我不要这种陌生的感觉，我要像几个月前那种感觉，我们一般人再能出来，一起哈哈大笑。
虽然我主动，不否认原应是想见你， 但主要的是我想大家再能一起出来，见每个人的笑容，包括你的。
看来我说了太多废话了。。这次的圣诞节会过得快乐吗？
我做主动，到底是对还是错？谁能给我答案？
maybe...maybe its like this...
累了。。
有一段时间，大家都能一起哈哈大笑，一起出来吃喝玩乐。
过了一段时期，个忙个的，有空的时间也越来越少，见面的机会也越来越少了，联络的时间也越来越少。
如果没有人愿意主动约大家出来，是不是每个人都会散吗？如果是的话，其实那只是自己的想法。其他人怎么想呢？我们到底有没有互相想大家，只有我们自己知道。。
虽然大家都个忙个的，但是脑海里在想什么，没有人知道，理由在于没有坦白, 没有人愿意主动。。就算多么地在乎，也没有人知道。
我不要这种陌生的感觉，我要像几个月前那种感觉，我们一般人再能出来，一起哈哈大笑。
虽然我主动，不否认原应是想见你， 但主要的是我想大家再能一起出来，见每个人的笑容，包括你的。
看来我说了太多废话了。。这次的圣诞节会过得快乐吗？
我做主动，到底是对还是错？谁能给我答案？
Written on 12:01 AM
12 October 2010 - No One Understands
maybe...maybe its like this...
累了。。
Labels: In a Daze
Written on 2:14 AM
01 October 2010 - That Feeling
October is here..I look forward to these few days.
but I also dread looking back at the many things.
how has things changed..
1 more month and I'll be locked up in the Academy, and I'm actually feeling kinda lost. there are things in which I want to try to do, but fear creeps up to me every single time.
sometimes I would think, whether if people including myself have changed, or is it that all of us are still the same.
I really hate the rage I have that I simply cannot control when I blow up.
forget all these unhappiness, I shall look forward to Sunday's Steamboat.
"diao simi diao?!"
lols.
but I also dread looking back at the many things.
how has things changed..
1 more month and I'll be locked up in the Academy, and I'm actually feeling kinda lost. there are things in which I want to try to do, but fear creeps up to me every single time.
sometimes I would think, whether if people including myself have changed, or is it that all of us are still the same.
I really hate the rage I have that I simply cannot control when I blow up.
forget all these unhappiness, I shall look forward to Sunday's Steamboat.
"diao simi diao?!"
lols.
Written on 4:43 PM
06 June 2010 - The Haunt
time flies, and it is already near 2 months since I started work. so many things happened, and I didn't know how I managed them.
it was all about working with those fun-loving colleagues, occasional hangouts with bros, small little chats with certain people, as well as annoying a handful of people.
but with all these, it seems that I still can't forget what haunted me.
then again..
what is it that I fear so much?
what is it that makes me feel this way?
when it comes to making decisions, just which one is the most beneficial one?
I should enjoy myself till I drop later on, after work that is.
and yes, I need a much more laid back life.
it was all about working with those fun-loving colleagues, occasional hangouts with bros, small little chats with certain people, as well as annoying a handful of people.
but with all these, it seems that I still can't forget what haunted me.
then again..
what is it that I fear so much?
what is it that makes me feel this way?
when it comes to making decisions, just which one is the most beneficial one?
I should enjoy myself till I drop later on, after work that is.
and yes, I need a much more laid back life.
Written on 2:35 AM
16 April 2010 - The Wrong Things
maybe what I've done made things backtracked.
if I've done the wrong things, I want to know.
if I've done anything that robbed you of your smiles, I wanna hear.
you choose to remain silent everytime I try to speak.
I was just hoping things would change for a little better for once.
if you see this, you would know I'm talking about you.
I really pray to whoever, things don't stay the way it is, or go worse. I want it to be better, probably knowing what I should do.
if I've done the wrong things, I want to know.
if I've done anything that robbed you of your smiles, I wanna hear.
you choose to remain silent everytime I try to speak.
I was just hoping things would change for a little better for once.
if you see this, you would know I'm talking about you.
I really pray to whoever, things don't stay the way it is, or go worse. I want it to be better, probably knowing what I should do.
Written on 8:55 AM
02 February 2010 - FYP's Last Step
all I'm left with now for my FYP is the presentation, which is on a Thursday instead of the usual Wednesday that the rest would be presenting. they present in classrooms, while mine's at the office. they wear formal clothings, while mine can be casual, but I'm still thinking whether I should wear formal for the presentation though it would be short.
and when all of it ends, it marks the end of my FYP as well...like finally...
anyway, school stuffs aside, someone showed me this video on youtube, and after I watched it, I wished Chinese New Year didn't exist, so that this video would not be made.
maybe they should make for other occasions like...nevermind. those who know me, would probably be able to guess it. that occasion falls near the end of year. you get what I mean? Solar car? Radiation?
and when all of it ends, it marks the end of my FYP as well...like finally...
anyway, school stuffs aside, someone showed me this video on youtube, and after I watched it, I wished Chinese New Year didn't exist, so that this video would not be made.
maybe they should make for other occasions like...nevermind. those who know me, would probably be able to guess it. that occasion falls near the end of year. you get what I mean? Solar car? Radiation?
Labels: In a Daze, Nerd Life, Random
Written on 12:10 AM
27 January 2010 - Frustrated
My family was in a fluster the moment I came back, flustered over a letter.
yeh, its the letter for vocational assessment, asking me to go to the Navy Base to conduct a whole day test. My parents were like, ohmygod jialat ah blahblahblah...
yes, that letter made me very moody for today, because I don't wish to go to the Navy...
a little frustrated with school stuffs, and now this. double the frustration now.
1 more month, I hope I can handle it...I got this feel I'm really going to fall. I don't know why.
Guess I do need to say stuffs like...two camels in a tiny fucking car !
yeh, its the letter for vocational assessment, asking me to go to the Navy Base to conduct a whole day test. My parents were like, ohmygod jialat ah blahblahblah...
yes, that letter made me very moody for today, because I don't wish to go to the Navy...
a little frustrated with school stuffs, and now this. double the frustration now.
1 more month, I hope I can handle it...I got this feel I'm really going to fall. I don't know why.
Guess I do need to say stuffs like...two camels in a tiny fucking car !
Labels: In a Daze
Written on 11:15 PM
20 January 2010 - Twisted Fate
it is only usually when we experience pain then we really start to learn. why is it that whenever people have set their mind to settle down and looking forward to what they want to do, shit always happen.
"Things don't always go the way you want" is the sentence I derived somehow.
Life can take a 180 degrees turn, in which I call it a Twisted Fate, especially when you feel at the peak for a period of time, and then all of a sudden, you fell from that high spot where you were standing, and you feel the pain like you've never felt before in your life.
whenever we fall, we must be strong enough to endure this pain, let time pass by...picking up ourselves once again, and then move on with life.
I made my mistakes, I learnt them, its useless to hate sometimes, so we might as well...
accept the Truth, learning to let go and forget.
"Things don't always go the way you want" is the sentence I derived somehow.
Life can take a 180 degrees turn, in which I call it a Twisted Fate, especially when you feel at the peak for a period of time, and then all of a sudden, you fell from that high spot where you were standing, and you feel the pain like you've never felt before in your life.
whenever we fall, we must be strong enough to endure this pain, let time pass by...picking up ourselves once again, and then move on with life.
I made my mistakes, I learnt them, its useless to hate sometimes, so we might as well...
accept the Truth, learning to let go and forget.
Labels: In a Daze
Written on 11:23 PM
18 January 2010 - The Future Path, Passion or Money?
Recently, I've been thinking about, what I should do when I graduate from Poly and after finishing my NS. I don't really have an aim yet actually, because I do not know what I really want still.
after choosing DChem as a choice when I was still young and dumb, I regretted my path, because its something that posed no interest to me at all, and that I'm just studying for the sake of completing the course to get my Diploma...and then when I looked at the overall results, I started thinking: "Can I actually enter NTU or NUS with my overall grades like this?"
chances are, very small to an extent its like a miracle if I could get in a course. but that aside, even if I can make choices, where should I really go? and then I started thinking again...in future when I work, do I wanna work for passion even though the pay may be low, or for the sake of higher-based salary but without interest in the profession I would be in?
its a two path thingy that I have to actually decide, for the sake of my interest, or for the sake of money do I live?
if I work for passion, can I actually make enough money to support my parents and maybe, my own family if I ever have one?
if I work without passion but for the sake of money, whats my purpose in life already then? maybe just to support a family that I may have by then?
from here on, its a dilemma, in which I really do not know how to make a choice at all. maybe its that I've not matured yet, thats why I can't make a decision like this, because I lack ambition...or its really too tough a choice to make...
afterall, I have already taken a wrong path once, in choosing something that I had no interest in.
I do not want to make a wrong choice a second time, for I would probably regret for the rest of my life. and thus the question summarises:
Just which is the right path for me to take? I only have about 2 years to think now...if I live long enough to think about it though...
Kelvin Yeo's the name
21
I'm nothing extraordinary
But I hold my Pride high
Thus I don't really have a Good Personality
Adaptive to Everywhere I go
Not into Religious Matters
And I Love Annoying People
The Mirror-Effect Guy
(Attitude-Reflections Treatments)
Somehow, you wouldn't want to know me too much
Link blog if you wish to
PREVIOUS BLOG 2006-2009
Onion Tales
TONGFEN
WANRU
Beatrice
Marisa
Amber
Benny
CNY 2010
My 20th
YL's 21st
ECP Outing
KKY's 23rd
Picture Compilation
Blood Type
BH's 21st
Kids Bdays
Christmas Night
End of 2010
CNY 2011
iPhone & Razers
My 21st
P O P LO !!
Blu Tack Figurines
Siqi's 27th
2XU Compression 12KM Run
BH's 22nd
Jurong Lake 10KM Run
TianFang, Wanru & Zhenhong's Bdays
after choosing DChem as a choice when I was still young and dumb, I regretted my path, because its something that posed no interest to me at all, and that I'm just studying for the sake of completing the course to get my Diploma...and then when I looked at the overall results, I started thinking: "Can I actually enter NTU or NUS with my overall grades like this?"
chances are, very small to an extent its like a miracle if I could get in a course. but that aside, even if I can make choices, where should I really go? and then I started thinking again...in future when I work, do I wanna work for passion even though the pay may be low, or for the sake of higher-based salary but without interest in the profession I would be in?
its a two path thingy that I have to actually decide, for the sake of my interest, or for the sake of money do I live?
if I work for passion, can I actually make enough money to support my parents and maybe, my own family if I ever have one?
if I work without passion but for the sake of money, whats my purpose in life already then? maybe just to support a family that I may have by then?
from here on, its a dilemma, in which I really do not know how to make a choice at all. maybe its that I've not matured yet, thats why I can't make a decision like this, because I lack ambition...or its really too tough a choice to make...
afterall, I have already taken a wrong path once, in choosing something that I had no interest in.
I do not want to make a wrong choice a second time, for I would probably regret for the rest of my life. and thus the question summarises:
Just which is the right path for me to take? I only have about 2 years to think now...if I live long enough to think about it though...
Labels: In a Daze
Written on 12:26 AM
16 January 2010 - The Quiet Weekend
the weekend is not as lively as it used to be recently...
maybe I haven't been hanging around with BHWR and gang for bowling or any other stuffs.
maybe I have to wait till after my exams then I can hang out with them since Benghui is going Taiwan.
maybe because Huijie has gone to Brunei and he can't disturb us online or hang out with us.
maybe Zhenjie and Winston are rushing their reports in which they have to pass up on Monday, but they would be quite free after that.
maybe its because Zhenguang's laptop got screwed, and that he can't play DotA with us for a few weeks from now, in addition to his Sec 3 school life...whatever.
everyone's so busy, and that made my life very dull. not like I got no work, I mean...I have to prepare my FYP presentation and do a draft out by Tuesday and then present it to my FYP lecturer...and then I can still smell a whole lot of bullshit coming up in school. there are many things in which actually, I have not done at all.
day by day I've been counting the weeks, how long more to go? this time I answered myself, just 6 weeks more to go, and then the I'm out of that place for good, never to return ever again for anything related to studying.
its the last Semester now, though I once told myself to put in the last bit of effort once more, I just felt that I can no longer aim any higher. I've lost sight of my goals, given up in wanting to try my best. even though I've grown a little bit more independent, I still don't feel very good at the end of the day. 6 more weeks of effort, all I have to do is to just endure 6 more weeks, but I don't wish to, because it seemed as though I've reached the End instead of only near the end...yet the fact is just the contrary.
I hate waking up early, because I will have a lot of things running in my mind.
maybe I haven't been hanging around with BHWR and gang for bowling or any other stuffs.
maybe I have to wait till after my exams then I can hang out with them since Benghui is going Taiwan.
maybe because Huijie has gone to Brunei and he can't disturb us online or hang out with us.
maybe Zhenjie and Winston are rushing their reports in which they have to pass up on Monday, but they would be quite free after that.
maybe its because Zhenguang's laptop got screwed, and that he can't play DotA with us for a few weeks from now, in addition to his Sec 3 school life...whatever.
everyone's so busy, and that made my life very dull. not like I got no work, I mean...I have to prepare my FYP presentation and do a draft out by Tuesday and then present it to my FYP lecturer...and then I can still smell a whole lot of bullshit coming up in school. there are many things in which actually, I have not done at all.
day by day I've been counting the weeks, how long more to go? this time I answered myself, just 6 weeks more to go, and then the I'm out of that place for good, never to return ever again for anything related to studying.
its the last Semester now, though I once told myself to put in the last bit of effort once more, I just felt that I can no longer aim any higher. I've lost sight of my goals, given up in wanting to try my best. even though I've grown a little bit more independent, I still don't feel very good at the end of the day. 6 more weeks of effort, all I have to do is to just endure 6 more weeks, but I don't wish to, because it seemed as though I've reached the End instead of only near the end...yet the fact is just the contrary.
I hate waking up early, because I will have a lot of things running in my mind.
Labels: In a Daze
Written on 12:53 PM
The Author
Kelvin Yeo's the name
21
I'm nothing extraordinary
But I hold my Pride high
Thus I don't really have a Good Personality
Adaptive to Everywhere I go
Not into Religious Matters
And I Love Annoying People
The Mirror-Effect Guy
(Attitude-Reflections Treatments)
Somehow, you wouldn't want to know me too much
Link blog if you wish to
Ancient Exits
PREVIOUS BLOG 2006-2009
Onion Tales
TONGFEN
WANRU
Beatrice
Marisa
Amber
Benny
History
Picture Archives
CNY 2010
My 20th
YL's 21st
ECP Outing
KKY's 23rd
Picture Compilation
Blood Type
BH's 21st
Kids Bdays
Christmas Night
End of 2010
CNY 2011
iPhone & Razers
My 21st
P O P LO !!
Blu Tack Figurines
Siqi's 27th
2XU Compression 12KM Run
BH's 22nd
Jurong Lake 10KM Run
TianFang, Wanru & Zhenhong's Bdays
credits